That’s the name I’ve given to what is one of the central problems with Pakistani men. The “It’s the table’s fault” syndrome.
How many of us have seen this happen? A kid is running around, bumps into the table and starts crying. His anxious parents immediately attend to their “Laal” “Chanda” with ” Mera baita theek to hai na?” “kidhar lagi hai?” all of which only makes the brat howl even louder. And then….brilliantly…they start mock hitting the table. “Ganda Maiz!” “Sara maiz ka kassoor hai” “maro maiz ko”….and suddenly, Voila, Magic! the kid stops crying, happy, vindicated. The “culprit” has been punished.
And then these kids grow up with this twin-message ingrained in their psyche:
1. The straight logical link between actions and consequences is blurred in their minds. In other words. They are already fucked up and lost to reason.
2. They need not think that they might be culpable in a given situation. What’s the point? The other is so much easier and gratifying. Blame everything else and anything else. But not themselves. After all how can “Chanda” “Sona” “Laadian” ever be wrong?
I agree that girl children too are at times similarly spoiled but girls never seem to live as sheltered a life past childhood. The tough realities of life start sinking in nice and early when she has to make the bed and serve dinner while Bhai sits around watching TV or studying. Even in families where the preferential treatment of male offspring is not blatant, trust me, it still is there. I’ll give you this though: it is more likely than not the women and not the men, who are meting out this spoiling and worshiping love.
Guess what guys? News. When women marry you they expect an equal partner to share their lives with and not some baby god that they are adopting and must unquestioningly love and pamper and worship at the same time.
If you wont accept that your actions have consequences that it is not this world’s duty to shelter you from, well maybe, we’ll take your word for it and ask you to stand in the middle of the highway. You’re not to blame if you get hit, so why do you care? Go Sonay, Chanda, mere Laal ….a little more. There! Right in the center. Good.
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